Nikki Glaser Reveals Brutal Jokes She Lower From Her Golden Globes Monologue

Whereas most of Glaser’s jokes have been a success and there are even rumblings that she may very well be requested again subsequent yr, the comic admittedly has some next-day gripes about her personal efficiency and is now revealing a few of the harsh jokes she minimize from her monologue.

Sitting down with Howard Stern for his SiriusXM present on Monday morning, Glaser shared a few of the jokes that did not make it onto the stage on the Beverly Hilton Sunday.

“That is the final time all of you may be the identical room collectively till the Diddy trial,” Glaser quipped, revealing was one of many jokes.

“We had one other Diddy point out that labored higher … and also you solely get one Diddy point out,” she defined. “You are additionally accusing the folks within the room of being concerned in that, and so they would possibly activate you.”

One other included a sensitive point out of the Catholic Church drama, Conclave.

“I liked Conclave. It is in regards to the selecting a brand new pope. It was heartwarming. It is going to contact you a lot that the church must transfer it to a different theater. Sizzling tip: You do not want ID to get into the Conclave after get together,” Glaser shared.

“We did not do these as a result of they have been Catholic Church pedophile jokes — we have all heard them, we do not want extra of that,” she added.

One other was was a follow-up to her joke calling Adrien Brody a “two-time Holocaust survivor” for his look in two Holocaust films — The Pianist and The Brutalist — however she minimize this half: “If Adrien Brody might return in time, he would thank child Hitler for his profession.”

“I liked that one such a lot,” Glaser admitted. “However my assistant is Gen Z and he or she was like, ‘I do not get it,'” because of the time journey/kill Hitler reference being, apparently, a bit dated.

“Oh we will lose an entire technology on that joke, after which I’ve mentioned ‘Hitler’ for nothing,'” she reasoned.

There was additionally a joke referencing Luigi Mangione, who’s accused of murdering UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson: “Glen Powell is nominated tonight for Hit Man. Who would have thought you’d solely be the second-hottest hit man in America?”

Glaser additionally was set to take some jabs at Nicole Kidman, however held again.

“The Wild Robotic is nominated tonight — and by that I imply Nicole Kidman after two white wines,” Glaser shared, revealing the joke.

“I want we might have completed that, but when she makes a face…,” Glasser defined earlier than sharing her Timothée Chalamet joke.

“Timothée Chalamet took classes in guitar, dialect, motion and vocals to turn out to be Bob Dylan [in A Complete Unknown]. Whereas Bob Dylan turned Bob Dylan the old style manner: heroin and autism.”

Alec Baldwin was a topic too, following a Beetlejuice Beetlejuice crack.

“Michael Keaton was so nice in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. And Alec Baldwin sadly didn’t come again to play a ghost as a result of he was too busy making them,” Glaser shared, referencing the capturing loss of life of Halyna Hutchins on Baldwins 2021 movie, Rust.

“Please know that I do know that was not good. It is such an amazing joke, nevertheless it’s simply too imply,” Glaser mentioned, revealing why she selected to depart that one out.

“Here is Ben Affleck. I am unable to wait to see which Jennifer you attempt to destroy subsequent,” she shared, earlier than explaining that she already had a crack in regards to the actor’s failed marriage to Jennifer Lopez after having one other Affleck joke in her monologue.

Glaser additionally revealed that she “tousled” the Affleck joke throughout the present.

Whereas Glaser mentioned, “Depraved, Queer, Nightbitch — these usually are not simply phrases Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms. These are a few of the unimaginable films nominated tonight,” the joke was speculated to be “when he orgasms.”

“I mentioned ‘after’ and it actually bugged me,” Glaser famous. “It nonetheless works. It is simply much less clear. It is 2 p.c extra humorous [the other way].”

Whereas Stern identified that no one cares in regards to the model of jokes they did not hear, Glaser mentioned the viewers does not notice how rather more they might’ve preferred it.

And although she was laborious on herself after the present, she mentioned that considered one of her writers assured her afterwards that she received an “A+” following the internet hosting gig.

“I went to mattress blissful,” she mentioned.

Different jokes that did not make it included just a few jabs at Solely Murders within the Constructing and a joke about Dax Shepard. Stern additionally requested Glaser about how a lot she was paid.

“There was a previous host who mentioned how a lot he received paid in his monologue,” Glaser mentioned, referring to Jerrod Carmichael revealing he was paid $500,000 for the gig when he hosted in 2023.. “I received lower than that. It is OK. I will get extra subsequent yr. I truthfully would have completed it without spending a dime, it is such an insane platform. … [But] subsequent time I will ask for more cash.”

Whereas Glaser revealed that she hasn’t been formally requested to host once more subsequent yr, she’s assured she’ll be again.

“I am unable to think about they would not. … It is laborious to search out folks to do these exhibits,” Glaser reasoned. “… [But] I might by no means be capable of reside with myself if I turned it down as a result of I am petrified of bombing.”